Is the husband allowed to stop his wife from seeing her parents?

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمِ

In the Name of Allah Most Merciful Most Kind

Short Answer

Answer: No, it is absolutely prohibited for a husband to stop his wife from seeing her parents. Severing kinship ties is one of the greatest sins, and it is even worse when it is related to the parents. Therefore, a husband causing this will be extremely sinful. This is also true if a wife attempts to cause distance between the husband and his family. Rather both spouses must encourage each other to maintain kinship ties.

Explanation

  

وَتَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْبِرِّ وَالتَّقْوَى وَلَا تَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْإِثْمِ وَالْعُدْوَانِ

Assist one another in piety and righteousness. And do not assist one another in sin and transgression. (Surah al-Maidah, 2). 

In the noble Quranic verse above, Muslims are commanded to assist one another in piety and they are prohibited from doing so in sin. This is especially applicable to spouses since they spend so much time together and have such a close relationship. Thus, it would be a complete violation of the Quranic imperative for a husband to stop his wife from seeing her parents or vice versa. 

Rather it is an obligation upon spouses to encourage the strengthening of kinship bonds. That is the prophetic example. As for becoming a barrier to maintaining kinship bonds, that is the incitement of Shaytan. Shockingly some people who teach the Deen (religion) exaggerate the authority of the husband to such a degree they give him the right to sever family ties.  

The Hanafi Madhab

(وَلَا يَمْنَعُهُمْ مِنْ النَّظَرِ إلَيْهَا وَكَلَامِهَا فِي أَيِّ وَقْتٍ اخْتَارُوا) لِمَا فِيهِ مِنْ قَطِيعَةِ الرَّحِمِ، وَلَيْسَ لَهُ فِي ذَلِكَ ضَرَرٌ، وَقِيلَ: لَا يَمْنَعُهَا مِنْ الدُّخُولِ وَالْكَلَامِ وَإِنَّمَا يَمْنَعُهُمْ مِنْ الْقَرَارِ وَالدَّوَامِ لِأَنَّ الْفِتْنَةَ فِي اللَّبَاثِ وَتَطْوِيلِ الْكَلَامِ، وَقِيلَ: لَا يَمْنَعُهَا مِنْ الْخُرُوجِ إلَى الْوَالِدَيْنِ وَلَا يَمْنَعُهُمَا مِنْ الدُّخُولِ عَلَيْهَا فِي كُلِّ جُمُعَةٍ، وَفِي غَيْرِهِمَا مِنْ الْمَحَارِمِ التَّقْدِيرُ بِسَنَةٍ وَهُوَ الصَّحِيحُ. (الهداية في شرح بداية المبتدي) 

(And he cannot prevent them from looking at her and speaking to her at any time they choose) due to the severing of kinship ties involved, and there is no harm in that for him. It has also been said: He cannot prevent her from entering and speaking. Rather he can prevent them from staying and remaining constantly. Since problems may occur when remaining and prolonging the conversation. It was also said: He cannot prevent her from going out to her parents. Nor prevent them from entering upon her every week. As for other close relatives, the period is a year, and this is the correct view. (Imam Burhan al-Deen al-Marghinani 593H, al-Hidayah Sharh Bidayatu al-Mubtadi).

In the Nass (text) above, Imam al-Marghinani explains how a man preventing his wife from seeing her parents at any time they choose is tantamount to severing kinship ties. Which is extremely sinful. Therefore, it is certainly not permitted. However, a woman has responsibilities towards her husband too. 

Therefore, seeing her parents must be established in a reasonable manner that does not encroach upon her other duties. Be they duties towards her husband, children, or herself. Thus, Imam al-Marghinani mentioned her leaving to see them and them coming to see her, once a week. However, this should be understood to be a minimum and not an ideal or upper limit. This was further clarified in commentaries of al-Hidayah.    

(وقيل: لا يمنعها من الخروج إلى الوالدين) ش: لاحتمال أنهما لا يأتيان إليها. فإذا منعها زوجها عن الخروج إليها، توهم فيها العقوق الذي هو من الكبائر. م: (ولا يمنعها من الدخول عليها) ش: أي ولا يمنع الزوج والديها من الدخول عليها. م: (في كل جمعة) ش: وعليه الفتوى. م: (وفي غيرهما) ش: أي في غير الوالدين. م: (من المحارم التقدير بسنة مرة) ش: واحدة. م: (وهو الصحيح). (البناية شرح الهداية)

(And it was said: He does not prevent her from going out to her parents). Explanation: Because it is possible that they cannot come to her. So, if her husband prevents her from going out to them, it is conceivable that parental rights are violated, which is a major sin. Matn: (And cannot prevent from entering upon her). Explanation: That is, the husband cannot prevent her parents from entering upon her. Matn: (Every week). Explanation: And this is the Fatwa. Matn: (And regarding others). Explanation: That is, other than the parents. Matn: (From among the close relatives, the period is a year). Explanation: Once. Matn: (And this is the correct view). (Imam Badr al-Din al-Ayni 855H, al-Binayah Sharh al-Hidayah).

وَقَوْلُهُ (وَهُوَ الصَّحِيحُ) احْتِرَازٌ عَنْ قَوْلِ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ مُقَاتِلٍ الرَّازِيِّ فَإِنَّهُ يَقُولُ: لَا يَمْنَعُ الْمَحَارِمَ مِنْ الزِّيَارَةِ فِي كُلِّ شَهْرٍ. (العناية شرح الهداية)

His statement (this is the correct view) is in opposition to the statement of Muhammad bin Muqatil al-Razi. Indeed, he said: He cannot prevent close relatives from visiting every month. (Imam al-Babarti 786H, al-Inayah Sharh al-Hidayah).

Other close relatives 

Imam al-Babarti explained that the text of al-Hidayah opposes the position of Imam Muhammad bin Muqatil al-Razi. Since he set a minimum of one visit per month for close relatives other than the parents. Whereas Imam al-Marghinani mentioned once per year. 

Despite the difference in opinion the sounder position of once per year is fairly restrictive. But once again it should be seen for what it is. A minimum, not an ideal or an upper limit. Usually, a husband or wife should be seeing close relatives, for example siblings, far more often than once per year. 

وَقِيلَ لَا يَمْنَعُهَا مِنْ الْخُرُوجِ إلَى الْوَالِدَيْنِ، وَلَا يَمْنَعُهُمَا مِنْ الدُّخُولِ عَلَيْهَا فِي كُلِّ جُمُعَةٍ، وَفِي غَيْرِهِمَا مِنْ الْمَحَارِمِ فِي كُلِّ عَامٍ هُوَ الصَّحِيحُ، وَقَدَّرَهُ مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ مُقَاتِلٍ الرَّازِيّ بِشَهْرٍ فِي الْمَحَارِمِ. (تبيين الحقائق شرح كنز الدقائق)

It was said that he cannot prevent her from going to her parents. Nor prevent them from entering upon her every week. Regarding other close relatives, once a year. This is the correct view. Muhammad bin Muqatil al-Razi estimated it to be once a month for close relatives. (Imam Fakhr al-Deen al-Zayla’i 743H, Tabyeen al-Haqaaiq Sharh Kanz al-Daqaiq).

Dangers of isolation 

Imam al-Haddadi raised another very important consideration which would contradict the husband being able to prevent his wife from seeing her parents. He explained that the family has an obligation to check in on her. That is not possible if access is denied. 

Isolation is generally rejected in the Islamic tradition. But in some situations, it is dangerous. Since it can facilitate abuse. Therefore, Muslims are required to look out for others. And this requirement is intensified when it comes to family members. 

(قَوْلُهُ وَلِلزَّوْجِ أَنْ يَمْنَعَ وَالِدِيهَا وَوَلَدَهَا مِنْ غَيْرِهِ وَأَهْلَهَا الدُّخُولَ عَلَيْهَا) ؛ لِأَنَّ عَلَيْهَا الْخَلْوَةَ مَعَهُ فِي أَيِّ وَقْتٍ شَاءَ وَبِدُخُولِ هَؤُلَاءِ يَتَعَذَّرُ ذَلِكَ وَقِيلَ لَا يَمْنَعُ وَالِدِيهَا مِنْ الدُّخُولِ عَلَيْهَا فِي الْأُسْبُوعِ مَرَّةً وَفِي غَيْرِهَا مِنْ الْمَحَارِمِ التَّقْدِيرُ بِسَنَةٍ وَهُوَ الصَّحِيحُ (قَوْلُهُ وَلَا يَمْنَعُهُمْ مِنْ النَّظَرِ إلَيْهَا وَكَلَامُهَا فِي كُلِّ وَقْتٍ شَاءُوا) لِمَا فِي ذَلِكَ مِنْ قَطِيعَةِ الرَّحِمِ وَلِأَنَّ أَهْلَهَا لَا بُدَّ لَهُمْ مِنْ افْتِقَادِهِمْ وَالْعِلْمِ بِحَالِهَا وَلَا يَمْنَعُهَا مِنْ الْخُرُوجِ إلَى الْوَالِدَيْنِ. (الجوهرة النيرة)

His statement: And the husband has the right to prevent her parents, her children from other than him, and her family from entering upon her. Since she has a duty to be alone with him at any time he wishes, and with the entry of these people, that becomes impossible. It was said: He does not prevent her parents from entering upon her once a week. And in other cases of close relatives, the prescription is once a year, and this is the correct view.  

His statement: And he cannot prevent them from looking at her and speaking to her at any time they wish. As that would entail the severing of kinship ties. Also, because her family must inevitably check in and know about her situation. And he cannot prevent her from going out to her parents. (Imam Abu Bakr bin Ali bin Muhammad al-Haddadi 800H, al-Jawhara Al-Nayirah). 

Thorough research 

This issue must be researched thoroughly. As there is a significant amount of difference of opinion. So, one must seek out the Fatwa position of the Madhab. It is also important to research thoroughly because some of the legal texts addressing the issue are unclear. For example, the following text from al-Ikhtiyar. However, further research provides clarity. 

 

وَلَهُ أَنْ يَمْنَعَ أَهْلَهَا وَوَلَدَهَا مِنْ غَيْرِهِ الدُّخُولَ عَلَيْهَا، وَلَا يَمْنَعُهُمْ كَلَامَهَا وَالنَّظَرَ إِلَيْهَا، وَلَا يَمْنَعُهُمَا مِنَ الدُّخُولِ إِلَيْهَا كُلَّ جُمُعَةٍ وَغَيْرُهُمْ مِنَ الْأَقَارِبِ كُلَّ سَنَةٍ. (الاختيار لتعليل المختار)

He has the right to prevent her family and children from another, from entering upon her. But he cannot prevent them from speaking to her or looking at her. Nor can he prevent them from entering upon her once a week, and other relatives once a year. (Imam Abu al-Fadl al-Mowsili 683H, l-Ikhtiyar li Ta’lil al-Mukhtar).

In the following Nass, Imam Ibn Nujaym explains how the strongest opinion is in fact a combination of different opinions. Once again highlighting the importance of thorough research. For those who do look into this issue, it will become clear that a husband has no right to prevent his wife from seeing her parents. Rather that would be sinful.

وَالصَّحِيحُ خِلَافُ كُلٍّ مِنْ الْقَوْلَيْنِ قَالُوا الصَّحِيحُ أَنَّهُ لَا يَمْنَعُهَا مِنْ الْخُرُوجِ إلَى الْوَالِدَيْنِ وَلَا يَمْنَعُهُمَا مِنْ الدُّخُولِ عَلَيْهَا فِي كُلِّ جُمُعَةٍ وَفِي غَيْرِهِمَا مِنْ الْمَحَارِمِ فِي كُلِّ سَنَةٍ وَإِنَّمَا يَمْنَعُهُمْ مِنْ الْكَيْنُونَةِ عِنْدَهَا وَعَلَيْهِ الْفَتْوَى كَمَا فِي الْخَانِيَّةِ. (البحر الرائق شرح كنز الدقائق)

The correct view is contrary to both of the two opinions. They said that the correct view is that he cannot prevent her from going out to her parents. Nor them from entering upon her every week. As for other close relatives, once a year. He can only prevent them from living with her. The Fatwa is upon this, as stated in al-Khaniyah. (Imam Zayn al-Deen Ibn Najaym 970H, al-Bahr al-Raiq Sharh Kanz al-Daqaiq).

(وَلَا يَمْنَعُهُمَا مِنْ الدُّخُولِ عَلَيْهَا فِي كُلِّ جُمُعَةٍ، وَفِي غَيْرِهِمَا مِنْ الْمَحَارِمِ فِي كُلِّ سَنَةٍ) لَهَا الْخُرُوجُ وَلَهُمْ الدُّخُولُ زَيْلَعِيٌّ. (الدر المختار شرح تنوير الأبصار)

Imam al-Tumartashi: He cannot prevent them from entering upon her once a week. And other close relatives once a year.

Imam al-Haskafi: She has the right to leave, and they have the right to enter, Zayla`i. (Al-Durr al-Mukhtar).

(قَوْلُهُ فِي كُلِّ جُمُعَةٍ) هَذَا هُوَ الصَّحِيحُ، خِلَافًا لِمَنْ قَالَ لَهُ الْمَنْعُ مِنْ الدُّخُولِ مُعَلِّلًا بِأَنَّ الْمَنْزِلَ مِلْكُهُ، وَلَهُ حَقُّ الْمَنْعِ مِنْ دُخُولِ مِلْكِهِ دُونَ الْقِيَامِ عَلَى بَابِ الدَّارِ، وَلِمَنْ قَالَ لَا مَنْعَ مِنْ الدُّخُولِ بَلْ مِنْ الْقَرَارِ؛ لِأَنَّ الْفِتْنَةَ فِي الْمُكْثِ وَطُولِ الْكَلَامِ، أَفَادَهُ فِي الْبَحْرِ. (رد المحتار على الدر المختار)

(His statement every Friday) this is correct, contrary to those who said that he has the right to prevent entry, arguing that the house is his property, and he has the right to prevent entry into his property without standing guard at the door of the house. And those who said there is no prohibition against entering, but rather against staying. Since discord lies in staying and talking for a long time, he benefited it in al-Bahr. (Imam Ibn Abideen 1252H, Radd Al-Muhtar ‘ala Al-Durr Al-Mukhtar).

Does she need his permission? 

It should be clear from the above Nusoos (texts) that the wife does not need the husbands permission to visit her parents. However, Imam Ibn Nujaym drives this point home in the following Nass (text). This does not mean that husband and wife should not communicate and make decisions together. Rather that is necessary for a functioning marriage. But it is simply clarifying the legal ruling. 

وَقَدْ اُسْتُفِيدَ مِمَّا ذَكَرْنَاهُ أَنَّ لَهَا الْخُرُوجَ إلَى زِيَارَةِ الْأَبَوَيْنِ وَالْمَحَارِمِ فَعَلَى الصَّحِيحِ الْمُفْتَى بِهِ تَخْرُجُ لِلْوَالِدَيْنِ فِي كُلِّ جُمُعَةٍ بِإِذْنِهِ وَبِغَيْرِ إذْنِهِ وَلِزِيَارَةِ الْمَحَارِمِ فِي كُلِّ سَنَةٍ مَرَّةً بِإِذْنِهِ وَبِغَيْرِ إذْنِهِ، وَأَمَّا الْخُرُوجُ لِلْأَهْلِ زَائِدًا عَلَى ذَلِكَ فَلَهَا ذَلِكَ بِإِذْنِهِ. (البحر الرائق شرح كنز الدقائق) 

It has been concluded from what we have mentioned that she has the right to go out to visit her parents and close relatives. So, according to the correct and Fatwa position, she goes out to visit her parents every week with or without his permission. And to visit her close relatives once a year with or without his permission. As for going out to visit other family members beyond that, she may do so with his permission. (Imam Zayn al-Deen Ibn Najaym 970H, al-Bahr al-Raiq Sharh Kanz al-Daqaiq).  

Leaving to visit other relatives 

The frequency of visits from and to the parents is far greater than with other relatives. However, the basic right is established in both cases. Just like the husband cannot prevent his wife from seeing her parents, he cannot prevent her from seeing other close relatives. But that is not a weekly occurrence.    

(وقيل: لا يمنعُ) الرجلَ امرأَتَه (من الخروج إلى الوالدين ولا) يمنعُ والديها (من دخولهما عليها، كل جُمُعة، وفي مَحْرَمٍ غيرهما) أي غير الوالدين لا يمنع من دخوله عليها (كل سنة وهو الصحيح) احترز به عن قول محمد بن مُقَاتل الَّرازي: لا يمنعُ المَحْرَم كل شهرٍ. وعلى هذا خُرُوجِها لزيارة عمتها أو خالتها. وعن الحسن: لا يَمنعها عن زيارة الأقارب في كل شهرين أو ثلاثة، ولا يمنعْ محارِمَها من الدخول عليها كلَ جُمُعة. (فتح باب العناية بشرح النقاية) 

(And it was said: He cannot prevent) a man his wife (from going out to her parents, nor can he prevent) her parents (from entering upon her, every week. As for a close relative other than them), i.e., other than the parents, he cannot prevent him from entering upon her (once a year, and this is the correct view). He used this to distinguish it from the statement of Muhammad bin Muqatil al-Razi: He cannot prevent a close relative visiting once a month. Upon this is her leaving to visit a paternal or maternal aunt. According to al-Hasan, she is not prevented from visiting relatives every two or three months. Nor are her close relatives prevented from visiting her every week. (Imam Ali al-Qari 1014H, Fath Bab al-‘Inaya Sharh al-Nuqayah). 

When parents are sick 

We can easily understand from the above legal texts (Nusoos) that the husband cannot prevent his wife from seeing her parents. Rather they both have a right to visit once per week, as a minimum. However, we see from the following text that at times, in situations of necessity, the wife may spend far more time with parents. 

وَلَوْ أَبُوهَا زَمِنًا مَثَلًا فَاحْتَاجَهَا فَعَلَيْهَا تَعَاهُدُهُ وَلَوْ كَافِرًا وَإِنْ أَبَى الزَّوْجُ فَتْحٌ

(قَوْلُهُ زَمِنًا) أَيْ مَرِيضًا مَرَضًا طَوِيلًا (قَوْلُهُ فَعَلَيْهَا تَعَاهُدُهُ) أَيْ بِقَدْرِ احْتِيَاجِهِ إلَيْهَا، وَهَذَا إذَا لَمْ يَكُنْ لَهُ مَنْ يَقُومُ عَلَيْهِ كَمَا قَيَّدَهُ فِي الْخَانِيَّةِ (قَوْلُهُ وَلَوْ كَافِرًا)؛ لِأَنَّ ذَلِكَ مِنْ الْمُصَاحَبَةِ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ الْمَأْمُورِ بِهَا (قَوْلُهُ وَإِنْ أَبَى الزَّوْجُ) لِرُجْحَانِ حَقِّ الْوَالِدِ، وَهَلْ لَهَا النَّفَقَةُ؟ الظَّاهِرُ لَا وَإِنْ كَانَتْ خَارِجَةً مِنْ بَيْتِهِ بِحَقٍّ كَمَا لَوْ خَرَجَتْ لِفَرْضِ الْحَجِّ. (رد المحتار على الدر المختار)

Imam al-Haskafi: If her father is incapacitated, for example, and needs her, she is obligated to take care of him, even if he is an unbeliever. And even if the husband refuses. Fath.

Imam Ibn Abideen: (His saying “incapacitated”) meaning sick with a long illness. (His saying “then she must take care of him”) meaning to the extent that he needs her. And this is if he does not have someone to take care of him. As mentioned in al-Khaniyyah. (His saying “even if he is an unbeliever”); Because that is part of the good companionship which is commanded. (His statement, “even if the husband refuses”) due to the father’s right being preferred. But is she entitled to maintenance? The apparent is no. Although she is leaving his house for a legitimate reason, such as if she leaves for the obligatory Hajj. (Radd al-Muhtar ala al-Durr al-Mukhtar). 

Conclusion 

It is categorically not permitted for a husband to stop his wife from seeing her parents. That would be extremely sinful. Since it causes the severing of kinship ties. Which is strictly prohibited in Quran and Sunnah. Likewise, it is strictly prohibited for a wife to attempt to cause distance between the husband and his family. Rather Muslims must encourage each other to maintain kinship ties. 

It is absolutely necessary for Muslims to study the rights and responsibilities of marriage. It is an obligation in itself. However, in our context of widespread misguidance regarding marriage and the rights of spouses it is more imperative. Especially since many people who are presented as religious authorities are following culture or trends rather than Quran and Sunnah when it comes to rights in a marriage. 

And Allah Most High Knows Best.

–Answered by Shaykh Noorud-deen Rashid (30.01.26)