Can a woman do Iddah at her parents’ home?

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمِ

In the Name of Allah Most Merciful Most Kind

Short Answer

It is obligatory to observe Iddah in the marital home. It is not permitted for a woman to spend the Iddah period at her parents’ or other relatives’ home. This is because Allah (Most High) prohibited her leaving or being removed from the marital home during Iddah.

Explanation

لَا تُخْرِجُوهُنَّ مِنْ بُيُوتِهِنَّ وَلَا يَخْرُجْنَ إِلَّا أَنْ يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُبَيِّنَةٍ

Do not expel them from their homes. Nor should they leave. Otherwise they will be  guilty of a clear abomination. (Surah al-Talaq, 1).

The verse of the Holy Quran above, is clear regarding the obligation to observe Iddah in the marital home. If that were not the case, then husbands would not be commanded to allow them to remain. Therefore, neither the husband nor the wife has a choice. Iddah must be observed in the marital home.

Commentary

In the Nusoos (texts) below we find leading Hanafi Imams clarifying the obligation of observing Iddah in the marital home. They quote the verse above as evidence. Imam Muhammad explains that this is the case irrespective of the type of divorce that has occurred.

عَنْ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، أَنَّهُ قَالَ فِي قَوْلِ اللهِ تَعَالَى {لَا تُخْرِجُوهُنَّ مِنْ بُيُوتِهِنَّ وَلَا يَخْرُجْنَ إِلَّا أَنْ يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُبَيِّنَةٍ} [الطلاق: 1] قَالَ: خُرُوجُهَا مِنْ بَيْتِهَا فِي عِدَّتِهَا هِيَ الْفَاحِشَةُ الْمُبَيِّنَةُ. (الآثار)

Regarding the words of Allah (Most High): Do not expel them from their homes. Nor should they leave. Otherwise they will be  guilty of a clear abomination. (Surah al-Talaq, 1). Ibrahim (al-Nakhai) said: Her leaving her house in her waiting period is the clear abomination. (Imam Abu Yusuf Yaqub bin Ibrahim 182H, al-Aathaar).

 

ولا ينبغي للمطلقة ثلاثاً أو واحدة بائنة أو واحدة يملك الزوج فيها الرجعة أن تخرج من منزلها ليلاً ولا نهاراً حتى تنقضي عدتها لقوله تعالى: لَا تُخْرِجُوهُنَّ مِنْ بُيُوتِهِنَّ وَلَا يَخْرُجْنَ إِلَّا أَنْ يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُبَيِّنَةٍ. (الأَصْلُ)

It is not acceptable for woman who has been divorced three times, or once Bain, or once where the husband can take her back, to leave her house. Whether that is during the day or night, until her waiting period (Iddah) has expired. As He (Most High) has said: Do not expel them from their homes. Nor should they leave. Otherwise they will be  guilty of a clear abomination. (Imam Muhammad bin Hasan al-Shaybani 189H, Kitab al-Asl).  

 

In the Nusoos above, early Hanafi Imams have clarified that the sin being referred to in the Ayah is regarding her leaving the home. They further clarified that this obligation stands irrespective of the type of divorce. Therefore, a Muslim woman must observe Iddah in the marital home.

The marital home

Some people make the argument that the woman should be allowed back to her parents’ house, because that is her home too. This position seems to contradict the verse above, since the verse prohibited the former husband from removing her. So the context is that she observes Iddah in the marital home. It also clearly opposes the following narration.

يَحْيَى بْنَ سَعِيدِ بْنِ العَاصِ طَلَّقَ بِنْتَ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ الحَكَمِ، فَانْتَقَلَهَا عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ، فَأَرْسَلَتْ عَائِشَةُ أُمُّ المُؤْمِنِيِنَ إِلَى مَرْوَانَ بْنِ الحَكَمِ، وَهُوَ أَمِيرُ المَدِينَةِ: اتَّقِ اللَّهَ وَارْدُدْهَا إِلَى بَيْتِهَا

Yahya bin Sa`id bin al- As divorced the daughter of Abdur-Rahman bin al-Hakam. So Abdur- Rahman took her to his house. Consequently, the mother of the believers, Aishah sent a message to Marwan bin al-Hakam, who was the ruler of Medina, saying: Fear Allah, and return her to her house. (Sahih al-Bukhari: 5321).

Our blessed mother Sayidah Ayeshah (May Allah Most High be pleased with her) insisted on the divorced woman returning to the marital home. She strongly opposed her staying with her parents during the Iddah period. Since the evidence is clear, Hanafi Imams were unequivocal regarding this issue. They explained that a Muslim woman must observe Iddah in the marital home.

Hanafi Imams

(وَعَلَى الْمُعْتَدَّةِ أَنْ تَعْتَدَّ فِي الْمَنْزِلِ الَّذِي يُضَافُ إلَيْهَا بِالسُّكْنَى حَالَ وُقُوعِ الْفُرْقَةِ وَالْمَوْتِ) لِقَوْلِهِ تَعَالَى: لا تُخْرِجُوهُنَّ مِنْ بُيُوتِهِنَّ. [الطلاق: 1]. وَالْبَيْتُ الْمُضَافُ إلَيْهَا هُوَ الْبَيْتُ الَّذِي تَسْكُنُهُ، وَلِهَذَا لَوْ زَارَتْ أَهْلَهَا وَطَلَّقَهَا زَوْجُهَا كَانَ عَلَيْهَا أَنْ تَعُودَ إلَى مَنْزِلِهَا فَتَعْتَدَّ فِيهِ. (الهداية)

The woman observing the waiting period (Iddah) must do so the home applicable to her at the time of separation or death). This is due to His (Most High) saying: Do not expel them from their homes. (Surah al-Talaq, 1). And the home attributed to her is the home in which she lives. For this reason, if she visited her family and her husband divorced her, she would be obliged to return to her home and observe Iddah there. (Imam Burhan al-Deen al-Marghinani 593H, al-Hidayah).

عَلَى أَنَّهَا يَجِبُ عَلَيْهَا أَنْ تَعْتَدَّ فِي مَنْزِلِ الزَّوْجِ. (العناية شرح الهداية)

She must observe the waiting period (Iddah) in the husband’s home. (Imam Akmal al-Deen al-Barbati 786H, al-Inayah Sharh al-Hidayah).

 

Imam al-Barbati emphasised the obligation of the woman observing Iddah in the marital home. He was explicit that it refers to the husband’s home. In the Nass below, Imam al-Ayni explains that this is irrespective of it being rented, borrowed or owned by the husband.

نسب البيوت إليهن بحق السكنى، ولما قال الله تعالى: وَقَرْنَ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ. (الأحزاب الآية: 33). وإنما البيوت للأزواج، والسكنى عام يشمل البيت المملوك والمستأجر والمستعار جميعا. (البناية شرح الهداية)

He (Most High) attributed the homes to them (females) due to the right of residence. Similar to when Allah (Most High) said: And remain in your homes. (Al-Ahzab: 33). Despite the homes belonging to husbands. Residence is general. Thus, it includes owned, rented, and borrowed homes. (Imam Badr al-Deen al-Ayni 855H, al-Binayah Sharh al-Hidayah).

Hardship

It can be difficult or awkward to remain in the marital home after divorce. However, the Muslim makes such sacrifices for Allah (Most High) as an act of love and devotion. One must also recognise that there are great blessings and benefits in following the commands of Allah (Most High). So minor issues like discomfort or awkwardness must not remove a person from the path of piety.

It is important for the husband and his family to recognise that they are prohibited from making the situation difficult for the wife in Iddah. This is emphasised in the verse of the following Holy Quran:

أَسْكِنُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ سَكَنْتُمْ مِنْ وُجْدِكُمْ وَلَا تُضَارُّوهُنَّ لِتُضَيِّقُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ

Lodge them where you dwell, according to your wealth, and annoy them not so as to restrict them. (Surah al-Talaq, 6).

Husband gives permission

Some people argue that it is the husbands right that the wife carries out the Iddah in his home. Therefore, if he is accepting of it then the wife can observe Iddah elsewhere. This is not correct. The observation of Iddah in the marital home is an obligation from Allah (Most High). It is not permitted for the husband or wife to contradict this.

لِأَنَّ السُّكْنَى تَجِبُ حَقًّا لِلَّهِ تَعَالَى قَالَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى: وَلا يَخْرُجْنَ إِلا أَنْ يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُبَيِّنَةٍ. (الطلاق: 1). فَلَا يَمْلِكُ الْعَبْدُ إسْقَاطَهُ، وَاَللَّهُ تَعَالَى أَعْلَمُ. (بدائع الصنائع في ترتيب الشرائع)

Residence is obligatory, since it is the right of Allah (Most High). Allah (Most High) said: Nor should they leave. Otherwise they will be  guilty of a clear abomination. (Surah al-Talaq, 1). The servant has no right to abolish it. And Allah (Most High) knows best. (Imam Abu Bakr bin Masud al-Kaasaani 587H, Badai al-Sanai).

Conclusion

As seen above, a Muslim woman must observe Iddah in the marital home. Meaning the house in which they lived whilst married. This is clear from Quran and Sunnah. As well as the works of the Hanafi jurists. It is not permitted to observe Iddah at the parents’ or other relatives’ homes.

However, there may be particular circumstances where it may not be safe or feasible to carry out Iddah in the marital home. In such circumstances, a Muslim woman will carry out Iddah elsewhere.

And Allah Most High Knows Best.

–Answered by Shaykh Noorud-deen Rashid (17.09.24)

See also:

Iddah After Khul

See also video: